Kenny's Surprise Memorial

A day or two after we dedicated Mia’s bench, we received a text from our sister-in-law, Barb, who lives in Dodge City.  

When Don’s dad passed away earlier in December, his memorial monies were given to Park Plaza where he had lived.  It is a low-income housing high rise for the elderly, and although there is no assisted living, the residents all watch out for each other.  They are a closely-knit group, and we knew they would be able to put the memorial to good use.

But we had no idea what they would do until Don’s brother, Kevin, received a call from the manager. He asked Kevin to come take a look at the gazebo they had erected in Kenny’s name.  On our way to the cabin on Wednesday, we decided to drop by and see it.

When we drove up, five or six people were outside, sitting under the gazebo.  When we introduced ourselves, they were welcoming and grateful.  They clearly loved Kenny, and they were delighted with the gazebo and the surrounding garden. We also learned that in his memory they installed a few vending machines in the reception area, and they made sure to have it stocked with Snickers bars.

We never know how we will be remembered, but it meant a lot to us to hear such nice things about Kenny.  And now he will be remembered even more fondly because of the gazebo that was built.  He would be so happy.

Mia's Bench

It took us awhile to decide how we wanted to memorialize little baby Mia.  We finally decided to donate a bench to our church . . . one that parents could sit on while their little ones play at the playground, or one that children can sit on to rest.  Once we decided a bench was the right idea, we began researching.  Although originally I thought we would do a concrete bench, it quickly became obvious that they do not hold up well and they are hard to find!  So we went to a monument company and had them make one.

Don found just the spot for it . . . right next to a tree that is small but growing, hoping that in a few years, it would be a shady spot for those at the playground.  We ordered the bench in the size we wanted . . . and waited.

We kept hearing that the bench had been shipped, and the bill showed that it had been delivered . . . but no bench.  This was Wednesday June 11.  We looked everywhere, and it had not been delivered.  The mortuary tried to track it down, but to no avail.  We received a call on Tuesday the 17th . . . the bench had been "dropped off. " We are wondering where it had been, but we didn't care.  We called the installer who managed to put it in on Friday, and we were ready for the dedication on Sunday.

I have to say, the dedication was beautiful.  Our priest, Mary, did a lovely job with her prayers, and the kindness everyone showed touched us deeply.  In addition to Kenneth, Melinda, Caleb, and Tessa, Chuck and Linda Morgan, Barb and Tom Kruse, and Greg and Kristen Hart joined us and the rest of the congregation.

My favorite part of the bench is the saying - He's got the itty bitty baby in His hands, He's got the whole world in His hands.  It is comforting to know our little Mia is being taken care of, not only by all of her grandparents, but by God himself, who is holding her close.

A Week Re-Retired

I have to say it didn't take long to get back into the retired groove.  BUT . . . the sleep late part has not kicked in.  I think trying to get to Kansas City to see the kids, get to several lunches, shopping for Alaska, and preparing for Alaska have both Don and me energized . . . or stressed.

We needed to go to KC to see the kids.  Caleb said we needed to leave at 4 because it takes 3 hours to get to Kansas City, and he wanted us there by 7 for breakfast.  The next day when we called from here, he asked us where we were.  When I told him we were still at home, he said, "I told you leave at 4.  I got up at 3:30 to go to San Diego."  So we left at about 9 . . . only to break down in Emporia.

We figured out the problem after we returned home, and $200 later for the cost of a diagnostic machine, we left for KC on Saturday, and we actually made it.  Of course, that was too easy, so on the way home, our air conditioner went out.  It is getting awfully close to our trip for these stupid little things to start happening.

We had ordered a memorial bench for baby Mia, and it was to be dedicated at church on June 23.  Of course, despite us being told it had been delivered last Wednesday, it was MIA.  The bill of lading said it was delivered . . . wish it had been.  On Tuesday, however, we received a call that it had been dropped off (I wish I knew how many states it had travelled through before it arrived), and it is to be installed on Friday at 1:30 - just in time for the dedication on Sunday.

Our church ice cream social is Sunday.  I am usually in charge of the baskets . . . unfortunately, three of the five people who usually help have had things come up and they cannot help as much as they usually do (though they still are doing plenty).  That leaves just two of us to serve, keep things clean, etc.  Don always makes two or three batches of raspberry sorbet for the event.  Unfortunately, he was in such a hurry on his third batch, he forgot to add the simple syrup . . . it was a little tart.  Thank goodness he was able to recover and no harm done.

So . . . the RV is at the shop, the kids are coming into town, Mia's bench is here . . . and all is well.  The moral:  Don't sweat the small stuff!

My Final School Article

This post is mostly for me, but others may be interested.  On my final day at school, I sent out this note to families.  I liked it, and I wanted to save it.  It will remind me of how much I enjoyed the year, of my friends, of the good things going on at school.

Dear Independent Families,
 

Those of you who have known me for a long time, and now many of you who have just known me for this year, have realized that I have a song for anything . . . and I make up lyrics to songs, just because the rhythms fit . . . or I use songs as analogies.  And if I could sing as well as I can remember tunes, I might be rich . . . but that was not to be, so I just annoy people with my songs.

Be that as it may, when I left Independent in 2006, my final article used an analogy from the famous Bob Dylan song, The Times They are A’Changing.  It was appropriate for that article, but not for this one.  So I thought maybe the Sound of Music’s famous So Long, Farewell would work, but it has an air of finality that I am not ready to embrace.

And then I thought of the song Elphaba and Galinda sang to each other in the musical Wicked.  When our Middle School went to Carnegie Hall with the Prairie Rose Wranglers, we were lucky enough to see Wicked on Broadway.  Our whole Middle School was there, and what an amazing time it was. (That group of students not only sang at Carnegie Hall, but then many of them went to China the next year to sing there.)  I digress, but in the musical, one song seems perfect for my final article. Excerpts of the song follow:

It well may be

That we will never meet again

In this lifetime.

So let me say before we part

So much of me

Is made of what I learned from you.

You'll be with me

Like a handprint on my heart.

And now whatever way our stories end,

I know you have re-written mine

By being my friend.

I do believe I have been

Changed for the better

And because I knew you...

I have been changed for good.

This song says so much about what relationships should be.  No matter what happens, if we can look at every situation as a learning experience from which we can grow, a new opportunity to open our minds, a chance to gain a new friend, we are better people - we are changed for good.  And I know, from the bottom of my heart, that I am a better person today than I was when I walked into The Independent School on August 6, 2018. 

You have shared your children with me, and their hugs, smiles and accomplishments have given me hope for the future of our city and country.  You have shared yourselves with me, and I have gained such an appreciation for new ways to talk to, discipline, and teach children. We have come together as a community, walking again together toward the same goal.  My heart is full with the love and encouragement you have given me. 

I am so very excited for the future of The Independent School.  Handing the school off to Mr. English is such a positive step. His knowledge of the challenges and opportunities of independent schools in the midwest gives him a great perspective for leading our school.  When I talked with him before he was hired, I told him he would handed a peach of a school. And his response was that he intends to turn it into an orchard!

I know you will embrace Mr. English just as you embraced me.  And with all of us assisting him, his dream of a peach orchard can come true.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to share the year with you.  It has truly been a joy.

How to Re-Retire

Well, what I can say is it doesn't take long to figure it out.  After being retired for twelve years, I had gotten into a groove.  Retirement was great - I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted . . . and then I received the phone call.

How could I refuse to return to the school?  My heart is there, and when they asked, I quickly agreed to return for a year.  After all, it is just a year.

Well, a lot happened in that year.  I had already had a few trips planned that I was, of course, allowed to go on.  That being said, I did not go to the cabin in October, as it was planned for Homecoming, and I needed to be at the school.  And when I accepted, I had no idea we would be having another grand baby.  We found out in September, and could not have been happier . . . but I knew I would not be able to participate as much as I would have loved.

Don took great care of me, however, having dinner on the table many times, or making reservations for the other times.  Some days I came home and fell asleep on the couch.  Some days I went to bed at 9:00.  But I never had trouble getting out of bed in the morning, and I looked forward to getting to work.  After Spring Break, however, I began to count the days.  I wanted to go back to the cabin; I wanted to see Tessa; I needed to begin to prepare for the trip to Alaska.

So I was delighted when my replacement wanted to start early.  I knew I was in the way, and it was time for him to take charge.  When I first retired, I was ready but tearful when I walked out of the school.  This time, I knew I was ready and that things would be fine.

I have been re-retired for four days . . . and it has been glorious.  I know I will not run out of things to do, and it is time to get on with things!

The Woman Who Smashed Codes

As a young girl, I seemed to always gravitate to biographies.  I never understood why, but I remember reading about Archimedes and learning about his displacement of water discovery, along with others.  And now that I actually have time to read and am in a book club, I am finding out that the books I like the most are those about people of whom I have never heard.

Several years ago, we read about Francis Perkins, the woman in FDR's White House who was the one responsible for many of the New Deal's policies.  It was such an interesting story, and credit for Francis Perkins' achievement was usually given to the men around her.

And so it is with Elisebeth Friedman (yes, it is spelled correctly), The Woman Who Smashed Codes. Elisebeth became a code-breaker at a very early age, and the story of how she met her equally brilliant husband, William, and how she broke the Nazi codes in WWII is gripping.  She was another woman who received little credit for her accomplishments, despite having a husband who not only recognized her abilities but cherished them.    Her story remained hidden until much of her work was declassified in 2000.

In my book club, we read Killers of the Flower Moon, which detailed how the FBI was born.  In the book about Elisabeth Friedman, much more about the FBI, its growth, and its operation is detailed.  I had no idea.  There is so much we don't know . . . and so much we don't know we don't know.  And I love finding out what I don't know!